How do you feel about yourself?
Do you sometimes feel attractive, smart, excited, happy, witty, peaceful?
Do you sometimes feel ugly, stupid, depressed, boring, angry, jealous?
How do your feelings define you?
Are you an attractive or ugly person? Are you a smart or stupid person? Are you a happy or depressed person? Are you a peaceful or angry person?
Where is the truth in your feelings? What if they cannot identify or define you in any way?
What if your feelings are just forms which arise and fall, and you are the awareness behind those passing feelings? Because, over your lifetime, a billion feelings and emotions will arise and fall. So how can they define you, now, in this moment?
We so often identify ourselves with our feelings, and use them to judge and label ourselves – I am ugly… I am stupid… I am a failure… I am insecure… I am boring.
We create these labels and judgments – polarities of ‘bad’ and ‘good’ – and we believe that we will only be fulfilled and whole when we have attained all the ‘good’, and escaped all the ‘bad’.
But labels and judgments – the polarity of good and bad – it’s just a made-up concept… an idea, a belief… a story of the mind.
But we choose to believe in this made-up idea of polarity, and that is why we suffer so much.
Because, if we believe in the polarity of good and bad, we try to manipulate life away from bad, and towards good. If life doesn’t go our way, we resist and fight whatever is arising in each moment, and that is the cause of our suffering.
But in reality, there is no polarity. There is no good or bad.
If you strip away all your stories about whether a feeling is good or bad, what do you actually experience?
Without a story that you are experiencing fear, ugliness, depression or joy… what is actually arising in this moment?
Perhaps, what you are actually experiencing is energy, and it arises in each moment with a slightly different intensity, nuance and character. It is simply energy, arising, falling, transforming.
Without your stories, you have no desire to escape or cling to any particular energy that arises, because you no longer judge any of it as good or bad. So you welcome and accept everything that arises in each moment.
And life only ever occurs in the present moment, and this moment is always changing, always flowing, always creating itself anew. Why try to escape or capture certain feelings? This moment has already arrived. You can resist it and suffer. Or you can embrace and accept it. There is a beautiful freedom in dropping all your stories and labels, and allowing each moment to unfold.
You are the space in which all emotions and feelings can arise. You are the nothing in which everything arises and becomes aware of itself. And in that space of nothing, everything is unconditionally created and accepted. There is no good or bad… no polarity. All feelings are allowed to appear, because they do appear, because they have already appeared.
When you believe in polarity, you believe that you are not whole – that you are lacking, that you need less bad, and more good.
But in reality, you are already whole, because you are that unconditional space of creation, and that space is the love and wholeness that you seek.